The 'wheel' is not enough: help for mothers who wish to be mothers

Cots for life and the possibility of giving birth anonymously are very important. But the note left by the mother of Noemi, the baby left at the Red Cross headquarters in Bergamo, speaks of a desire that circumstances have made impracticable. What is needed is a place where, when they want to be mothers, women in difficulty can find all the support and assistance they need
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At child left by her mother in the Cradle for Life in Bergamo -it used to be called Wheel- was given the name of Noemi. Noemi will soon have a family and a home, hopefully for her "all the good and happiness in the world', as his mother wished in a touching note that manages to tell a life story in just a few lines:  

"Born this morning 3/5/2023, at home. Just me and her as in these 9 months. I can't, but I wish her all the good and happiness in the world. A kiss forever (from mum). I entrust you with an important piece of my life that I will surely never forget'.

La "ruota" non basta: un aiuto alle madri che desiderano esserlo

Cradles for life are an important presidium and it is good that this is publicised. Just as it is good to be known that every woman can give birth anonymously in hospital -that is, without recognising the infant who will be placed in adoptive status-. avoiding the risks of a home birth and often in solitude as it was for Noemi's mother.

But at least in some cases, probably in this case, Let us start from the text of his noteperhaps the woman -who wanted to appoint herself as 'mum'.even though by the way), saying "me and her" and speaking of "an important piece of my life'- would not want to part with the creature. Perhaps that 'I can't' could have become a 'I can' and that 'mum' could have come out of the parenthesis if the necessary help had not been lacking. That note reads a desire destined to remain unfulfilled.

This is not always the case. Perhaps only in a minority of cases is this the case. But It happens, as in this case, that desire is not lacking and it is circumstances that make it impracticable.

Then to the two headmasters -anonymous childbirth, cradles for life- perhaps a third should be added, a place where mothers in distress who want to and do not want to separate from their children can get the help they needThis means: continuous financial support, a job when it is lacking, someone, a single person or a family, who is committed to accompanying the mother in the commitment and joy of raising the child. The solutions can be varied, every story is different.

Perhaps some such places already exist, in part the Life Help Centres - such as the CAV Mangiagalli in Milan founded by Paola Bonzi- fulfil this function. But They should be de-hospitalised, institutionalised and 'secularised', making them places of encounter and relationships.

Can it be done?

Marina Terragni


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