Queer harassment
Misogyny belongs to all men, straight and gay. And so the envious disgust for our body. Story of a trans-stalking

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I see girls wondering why some men, when they speak badly of themselves, use the feminine form. Like 'what a fool I am' or 'I was a slut'.

This is exactly what I saw her do transfeminist demonstration on March 8 in Florence.

The same March 8th in which in Madrid as in Paris, feminists demonstrating against the exploitation of prostitution were attacked.

In Florence a man dressed as a dog he went on stage and told those present, speaking of himself in the masculine way, that he is a woman because he chose to give his ass, which is always better than being a worker.

Listening to it I remembered a gay friend and colleague. towards the end of my pregnancy he he bought a dog, a beautiful boxer to which he decided to give the name I had chosen for my son.

I had always believed that he was pretending not to understand why it bothered me so much, but seeing the man dressed as a dog on stage I had an epiphany:  for my friend the difference between bitch and woman was laughable and his buying a dog was my having a child; Maybe he wanted to be me? Was the identification process completed by assigning the same name? Maybe.

A similar mechanism was unleashed in my stalker. Yes, at the time of my first pregnancy I also had a stalker, whose advances I had rejected a year earlier and well... he had taken it badly. Until then he had 'limited' himself to masturbating at the window, ejaculating in my garden and hurling the worst insults at me. The reason I underestimated the problem is that he was a trans person: a person who at first glance could raise doubts about his sex, since he had female breasts on a male torso.

The moment my pregnancy became apparent his anger increased. He was waiting for me to come out to follow me, once he tripped me. Luckily I managed to move house before further escalation, but that's another story.

Thus the news of a pregnant woman beaten by a trans man, over an argument over an occupied bathroom on a train, recalled old memories of patterns of behavior already seen.

Our body amazes, scares or disgusts those who don't have it. And for some, seeing a pregnant woman is triggering.

I am reminded of the disgust with which some gay friends once spoke about menstruation, about the fact that there were also clots in the middle. I don't want them in the car and what if they stain the seat? And the smell? They are disgusting, I don't know how it is possible to think of putting it inside that ugly thing.

I didn't ask myself at the time how these gay male friends knew about the lumps or that it was 'bad'. When and why had they all seen menstruation and fia?

I only recently discovered that it exists an all-male fetish regarding menstruation: Some enter bathrooms to look for abandoned tampons and reuse them. Others put colored suppositories and take laxatives, to simulate the flow. Others 'give birth' to plastic babies.

However, on that occasion, while the gay friends said they were disgusted by the female body, the most ridiculous thing was that some of the women in the group agreed, as if pretending not to be affected by the same biology could protect them from the morbidity of those descriptions.

It's an illusion of being better than others, that that attitude, that discrimination only concerns the ugly ones without red heels or the stupid bellies or the bad terfs. If they get male contempt, violent or otherwise, they asked for it.

Believing you are safe from male violence is like delude themselves that only straight men are affected by misogyny.

Believing that we can control violence, that we can dose it, that we can use it only for certain purposes, has always proven to be a bad choice and leads to selective blindness regarding the evidence that that same violence exists.


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